Remembering the 80s: What E.T. Teaches Us About Love and Loss

Reader Note: E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial is the 24th best movie on American Film Institute's Top 100 Movies list. I was 12 years old when the movie came out in 1982 and I loved it. It was a delight to watch again now with all these years and experiences behind me. Little things like noticing the mom's point-of-view instead of only the children's ha! And a few big things too, which I'm sharing below.

If you haven’t seen E.T. in a while, it’s the perfect choice for a cozy date night or a family movie night. Its warmth, humor, and emotional depth make it a film that continues to resonate across generations.

E.T. was a hit, which led to countless toys, action figures, and stuffed animals. And, of course, VIDEO GAMES! In 1982, video games were at their golden peak—arcades buzzed with neon lights, home consoles brought pixelated adventures into living rooms, and every blockbuster film, including E.T., spawned a game that kids couldn’t wait to get their hands on. Image: The Cover of Atari Age Magazine, Volume 1, Number 4, Nov/Dec 1982. Photo from www.atariage.com

More Than Just a Sweet Sci-Fi Film

When people think of E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, they often recall the warm nostalgia of childhood, the magic of flight on a bicycle, or the irresistible sweetness of the alien himself. But watching it again as an adult reveals something even deeper: a story about vulnerability, connection, and the courage to feel.

At the heart of the film is one of its simplest and most profound moments—E.T. touching Elliot’s chest and saying, “Ouch.” It’s a moment that captures so much of what it means to be human. Love, loss, and the ache that comes from opening our hearts to another being.

The Power of Vulnerability in E.T.’s Story

Elliot, a lonely child, connects with an alien who has been stranded on Earth. They don’t share a language in the traditional sense, but they understand each other through their feelings. More than that, they share feelings—when E.T. suffers, Elliot does too. When E.T. flourishes, so does Elliot. Their bond is not intellectual; it is raw, emotional, and deeply vulnerable.

This openness is what makes their connection so powerful. In a world that often teaches us to guard ourselves, E.T. and Elliot show us the transformative power of saying, "I feel this with you."

**1982 Events Collage** Clockwise: 1982 Hama massacre, Compact disc (after vinyl, then 8-tracks, then cassettes, CDs were the shiny new thing), Twilight Zone accident, E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial, 1982 FIFA World Cup, Thriller (the 12th best album according to Rolling Stone!), 1982 Lebanon War, Falklands War (Are you humming We Didn't Start the Fire right now?). Photo credit at Wikimedia Commons.

Why “Ouch” Hits So Hard

There is something about E.T.’s simple expression of pain—"Ouch"—that feels more profound than the most poetic of monologues. It is stripped down to its essence. E.T. does not rationalize or downplay his feelings. He does not apologize for them. He simply acknowledges, without shame, that love and connection come with an ache.

In a culture that often rewards emotional detachment or resilience above all else, E.T. reminds us that to love is to be vulnerable. And sometimes, to be vulnerable hurts—but it is also what makes life meaningful.

Holding Onto Wonder Means Holding Onto Feeling

It’s easy to think of wonder as something lighthearted—the magic of discovery, the thrill of adventure. But true wonder is not just about joy. It is about staying open to the full spectrum of human experience, including sorrow, longing, and loss.

Elliot’s grief at the end of the film is as much a part of the story’s magic as E.T.’s glowing heart. It is a reminder that love does not vanish, even when the person (or alien) is gone. It lingers, it shapes us, and if we let it, it deepens our understanding of what it means to be alive.

Instead of fearing the sadness that comes with love, what if we embraced it as proof that we have truly lived, connected, and felt something real? What if we allowed ourselves to say "Ouch" and keep loving anyway?

Storytelling and Spielberg’s Fun with Gremlins

Steven Spielberg has always had a knack for weaving connections between his films, offering devoted fans small rewards for paying attention. Just two years after E.T., his influence can be seen in Gremlins (1984), where there are two distinct nods to the beloved alien.

In one scene, a toy store display features an E.T. doll tucked among other items, an Easter egg for those who recognized it.

Shot from the movie, Gremlins (1984) depicting a popular ET action figure hidden among the toys and stuffed animals. Stripe, the lead Gremlin, also "hides" this way in this toystore scene, just as E.T. hid from Elliot's mom. Photo credit: Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Later, a mischievous Gremlin hides under a trench coat, echoing the iconic look of E.T. wandering around in disguise. These playful references act as an inside joke between Spielberg and his audience—an unspoken bond between filmmaker and fans, rewarding those who share his love of storytelling.

The duo of E.T. and Gremlins held a special place in my heart as a child. Hardee's fast-food chain offered a series of five Gremlins storybook-and-record sets, those little 33 1/3-sized ones. I had them ALL, as well as a toy Gizmo, which looked just like the one below.

Spielberg’s playfulness between E.T. and Gremlins made me feel like I was in on something special—as if I was "in on the joke." What a grand feeling for the young, lonely teenager I was. ❤️

Random dude in a killer 80s jacket who clearly loves his Gizmo doll, which looks identical to the one I had. (Wait, I also had the coat in blue!) Gizmo is the main character in the movie Gremlins, which came out in 1984, two years after E.T. Spielberg is Producer and Director of E.T. He's Executive Producer of Gremlins and was deeply involved in shaping the movie (and also has a cameo!). Photo credit at Wikimedia Commons.

What E.T. Still Teaches Us

We live in a world that often discourages deep feeling, urging us to numb our pain or "move on" quickly. But E.T. offers a different path—one where acknowledging our emotions, even when they hurt, is an act of courage.

Instead of shutting down, we can take a lesson from E.T.: Feel it all. Say “Ouch” when it hurts. Keep loving anyway.

Where in your life can you embrace feeling instead of resisting it? What would it look like to stay emotionally open, even when it’s hard?

Maybe, like E.T., it’s in those moments of connection that we truly find home.

~~👽Be good👽~~